How To Text Her
- Jerod Williams
- Jul 30, 2024
- 4 min read
Updated: Apr 21
When do I text her? Can I call?
Short answer: Text her your number...then wait 2 DAYS LATER-late morning.
Here’s the secret with this: You’re being different and creating interest without trying. LESS is MORE. After getting her number (NOT social media) most guys will predictably contact her either the day/night they met or the next day. She is used to this, especially if she’s attractive. Your goal is to be different and ENTICE her. In my book, I emphasize the necessity to create space. Girls love to wonder about you. It’s already communicating you’re busy as well, as you should be, with your life and fulfilling your purpose. Remember, girls do NOT want it easy. They get turned on by a good CHALLENGE. Time is on your side, take it slowly and with absolute certainty. For me, I prefer a CALL. This always shows more CONFIDENCE and is the SEPARATOR to all the other guys. Put it this way, if she likes you…she’ll get in contact with you, even if she doesn’t pick up. ONE TEXT/ONE CALL. NEVER double it up. It’s like a game of checkers, you must WAIT your turn. Match and mirror…i.e. if she takes a while to respond, you take a while etc. FaceTime is perfect to offer if you didn’t get to chat much in person…10 minutes is enough to gauge chemistry, NOT talking for hours…this will actually lower your chances of a date. You’re not building mystery or anticipation by doing so.
If you met her online; comment on a picture, one of her prompts, or her profile in general. DON’T tell her how hot she is. Get creative, the goal is rapport (I discuss this in depth in my book)...i.e. ‘You look like a lot of fun to hang out with.’ IMPORTANT: With online dating, PATIENCE is especially critical. Girls get absolutely inundated with messages, so they will naturally screen guys out by WAITING to respond (you would too.). Exchange a few pleasantries, then be DIRECT. Ask for her number and OFFER a video call. This will vet out serious prospects and ensure you’re not wasting your time. More importantly, it helps make her comfortable as neither of you met in person yet.
How many texts?
If you choose to text, after meeting in person, DO NOT be her pen pal. A few messages are sufficient…I recommend NO MORE than 4, then GET to the point. Invite her for a date…ie. “We should get together, when are you free?” “What’s your schedule look like?” You’re treating it as an appointment during this time. Just have a WAIT and SEE kind of attitude. Once you nail down that date, as you are to LEAD and do all the inviting and planning…(and she agrees to it)…that is it. You can offer to pick her up if she allows, if not, just meet. Not a big deal. Stay OFF the phone afterwards. You don’t need to ‘massage’ the situation further. That happens IN PERSON on the date. Remember, always building that ANTICIPATION. That’s apart of being masculine…patient, mysterious, assured, and decisive.
Should I follow up?
NO. You made the date, she’s comfortable with it and agreed to it. By stating the NIGHT, time, and place…that’s how great dates are set. ALWAYS end with a confirmation, i.e. “Does that work?" “Looks like it works for both of us…” or “Ok great, I’ll see you then...” There is NO reason to follow up and ensure the date is still on. Remember, if she LIKES you she will HELP you by gladly agreeing to see you. Again, chances are if you do ‘check in’ to verify you both are ‘still on,’ this will LOWER her attraction to you as it makes you look uncertain and UNSURE of yourself. You must act like you get dates ALL the time. Recall female intuition in my book, she WILL sense this. Better yet, she may even contact you to confirm. If you really feel the need to say, "I'm running behind...etc." Think about it; when you make a time to meet up for dinner with your close friends or family, would you text them again?
What about hold ups?
If you hear any remarks other than agreeing to the date (being enthusiastic is obviously a bonus) it’s her TESTING you. In my book, I explain what these ‘shit tests’ are and why she’s doing it. With these potential speed bumps, STAY FIRM yet KIND. Things you’ll hear from her like this are:
“Text me later to make to sure we’re still good.”
“Will you let me know again?”
“I got super busy…”
“I’m really tired…”
YOU don’t act bothered or butthurt by these, especially if she gives you a “maybe” date. Any of these responses you WILL NOT accept. Remain positive...for she can NEVER get a rise out of you...say something funny, “Find some caffeine to wake you…” or more forward/direct “I’m pretty busy, so if you can’t do it, maybe another time then.” ALWAYS playful, yet firm. This puts her on the SPOT in a polite manner and I can guarantee you she is NOT used to it. This is GREAT. AWAIT her response. REMEMBER: Your actions will always dictate her behavior towards you. This exemplifies your confidence and strength, yielding you the best binary alternatives…a ‘yes’ or a ‘no.’ If she does cancel? NEXT. Attraction is scientific, and science doesn't lie. You can attempt the reschedule ONLY if she brings it up...NOT FOR THE NEXT NIGHT. This is yet another shit test to see how 'available' you really are.
Other than that, you will have the date or it’s simply not in the cards for you two.