You Gotta Mingle Or You'll Be Single
- Jerod Williams
- Jul 26, 2024
- 3 min read
Updated: Apr 20
When should I approach her?
It’s easy…eye contact. When you look at her and smile…she looks at you, especially if she smiles. THAT is your invite. GO FOR IT. She ALREADY knows what you’re doing. Female intuition is something I mention a lot of in my book, because it’s real. Girls know what you’re up to before you do. Her invite is always going to be implicit, therefore passive. YOU must make it active. It’s YOUR responsibility to initiate speaking with her.
What do I do? What to say?
All you need to do is walk over, just say hello, make small talk with her, ask her how her day is going. I always notice the things around us and make comments on them. It makes it really easy. If she is responding to you and making conversation, she LIKES you. To make an even greater impression- this is what I do now and something which you always SHOULD- give her an authentic compliment about how she looks, or that you couldn’t help noticing her. She’ll be elated you did so. It might even strike her unexpectedly, which is great because you’re being AUTHENTIC. That’s what confidence is. And girls LOVE a CONFIDENT guy. This is something that I ensure to stress the importance of in my book as the cornerstone of sustaining attraction.
When do I ask for her number? Is social media ok?
You need 5 minutes minimum before getting her number. If she is smiling and being playful with you, ask for HER name. If SHE asks for yours...THAT is a great bonus. ALWAYS ask for her number. The best and simplest way to do so is giving her your phone. Hit that compose icon and let her put it in. You can then casually send her yours. When you become skilled at this, which you will, setting a date in person is GREAT. You'll know when the conversation is flowing and the chemistry is potent. This exhibits ultimate confidence and she WILL be taken aback that you did so. In essence, you're creating as few barriers as possible...it's the same as texting her. Just set a definitive day, time, place and see how she reacts. We haven't evoled much as humans recently, it worked back in the day without cell phones right?
Social media is a HARD no to ask for. This shows much less confidence, and is far less intriguing to her than going for her number...or in person. You’re putting more unwelcomed barriers up to getting her on a date. It just gives her an easy exit to dispose of you later. Why? Treat her like a celebrity, she’ll treat you like a fan….you’ll probably be mixed in with the all the other guys in her DM’s or holding her bags while she shops if you do go out with her. Going the social media route means you’ve already deemed yourself unworthy and you’ve given her no choice, but to agree with you. Even if she doesn’t contact you later…no one cares. It’s HER choice in responding to you or not anyhow. When getting her number, it has simply provided the opportunity for her. Plus, you have no idea what’s going on in her life until you get that date with her.
What if I get denied?
WHO CARES. You’ve given yourself a perfect chance for her to get to know you. If she does anything other than immediately offering her number, it’s resistance. This is to be lightheartedly responded to, and just tell her to have a great day. She’ll appreciate how sincere and unconfrontational you are. A LOT of girls will give their numbers, and still not reach out after you initiate. That’s fine, again it’s her choice, let it be. Attraction is a science, and it will never lie. It’s just not in the cards for you or her.
Above all else, this should be fun and exciting to do, not an anxious and frustrating endeavor. You MUST get over your fear of rejection. Focus on the OTHER PERSON. It’s like when you were a kid and being afraid of the dark. You fabricate things in your mind to make it scary, when nothing is there at all. My favorite meanings to fear are: ‘Face Everything And Rise’ and ‘False Expectations Appearing Real.’ It’s NEVER as bad as you think it’s going to be. In fact, once you do it, you’ll feel a rush of relief because you made a HUGE step in the right direction. It just doesn’t matter if you get her digits or not. You have to mingle or you’ll be single. You’re practicing, and practice makes perfect.